From the Book: Let’s Be Enemies (by Janice May Udry with illustrations by Maurice Sendak, Harper and Row NY, NY, 1961)
James used to be my friend. But today he is my enemy. James always wants to be the boss. James carries the flag. James takes all the crayons. He grabs the best digging spoon. And he throws sand. So now James is my enemy. Now he hasn’t got me for a friend. When James was my friend I invited him to my birthday party. I always shared my pretzels and my umbrella with him. I showed him where the horny toad lived. We were such good friends we had the chicken pox together. But I wouldn’t have the chicken pox with James now. He is my enemy. James always wants to be the boss. I’m going over to poke James. I think I’ll put his crayons in the soup. I’m going to tell them not to let James go to school. Because he always wants to be the boss. James will think he’s the boss of the whole school. I’m going right over to James’ house and tell him. I’m going to tell him that from now on he is my enemy and he’ll have no one to play with. “Hullo James.”
Hullo. John.”
“I came to tell you that I’m not your friend anymore.”
“Well then, I’m not your friend either.”
We’re enemies.”
“All right.”
“GOOD-BYE!”
“GOOD-BYE!”
“Hey James?”
What?”
“Let’s roller skate.”
“OK. Have a pretzel, John.”
“Thank you, James.”
You can’t be enemies without having been friends.
Oh I know we use the term enemy to refer to more removed general things---terrorists are our enemies, the Taliban.
Back during the Cold War, the Russians, the communists.
Earlier during WW2 it was the Nazi’s, before that the Kaiser and his policies, before that the English and their tax.
Even earlier, during the time of Christ, the Jews had a lot of enemies: the Romans, the Greeks…..Besides a few iconic evil people—Hitler, Osama Bin Laden---
we use the term enemy to describe whole peoples, whole nations, whole movements.
But the enemy Jesus refers to in today’s Gospel is much more personal. The enemy in today’s Gospel is more in line with the actual meaning of the word. Enemy is derived from the Latin inimicus, which can be loosely translated as “In, meaning Not” and “amicus” meaning friend. An enemy is someone who is, decidedly NOT A FRIEND.
In the story I just read, Let’s Be Enemies, John, the narrator, is really ticked off at his former friend and current “notafriend,” his enemy, James.
He spends most of the story talking about what he isn’t going to let James do (retaliation)-and what he, John is going to do to James (revenge).
James engages in what Jesus is telling us to avoid---James is engaging in the old Levitic Law of the Hebrew Scripture which invites retaliation and revenge as an appropriate response to being betrayed, violated, cheated or in some way disgraced.
In the days of Jesus, this code of conduct as outlined in the Book of Leviticus and interpreted by the Temple authorities, was the law of the land.
In The Message translation of today’s Gospel, the last verse, “Be perfect as your heavenly father is perfect” is translated to read: "In a word, what I'm saying is, Grow up. You're kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you."
James is, appropriately, acting like a child. Jesus, in today’s Gospel is telling us, “stop acting like children, grow up, move through the old ways and into a new way. The old way of revenge and retaliation is no longer needed, for we’ve been given, as members of God’s kingdom, an abundance of extravagant, unending, never ceasing, always available and never disappointing LOVE. The Love of God. That love and peace which surpasses all understanding but is given to us, without question, without reserve, by God, through Christ.
Today’s Gospel isn’t telling us that we should be some type of doormat for abusive behavior. Nor is our Gospel telling us that we must passively accept the misfortunes of life. Today’s Gospel is telling us that when we are treated badly, when our feelings are hurt, when our trust is broken and when our faith in another is betrayed, we needn’t “beat them at their own game” or give them a taste of their own medicine.” For such behavior is the behavior of the playground, of children, of immaturity. The behavior of the grown up, the behavior of one mature in the faith of God through Christ, is to infuse the experience of betrayal, of lies, of hurt feelings, with Love. To realize that the one who is behaving badly is the one who is hurting, the one who is lost, the one who is stuck on the playground of retaliation and revenge, on the playground of temper tantruming children needs the understanding of an understanding parent. We are to treat them, like God treats us, with love and patience, in generosity and graciousness. [Now hear me loud and clear, I am not saying that we are to stay in dangerous situations. People in situations of physical, sexual, economic or emotional abuse need to first treat themselves with love, and get into a safe place surrounded by safe people. God does not want us to be martyrs, God wants us safe, and once safe we can begin to work on understanding that the abuser hates him or herself and is taking this hatred out on others.]
You see when we feel hurt, when we feel betrayed, when we feel lied to, and when we feel lousy we want to, just like a child, lash out.
And that’s ok, it’s ok to have temper tantrums, to have melt downs…..as long as no one gets hurt, as long as we have these melt downs, these temper tantrums, in the arms of our eternal parent. Because, and here’s the truth, we are children—children of God. And, as children of God. as grown up mature children of God, —we have a responsibility, a responsibility to rise above pettiness, to rise above reacting out of anger, to rise above retaliation. We are Children of a God who will give us all the love we need, who will soothe our wounds with a love which is beyond all understanding. And, just like the child who finds solace being wrapped in the arms of a loving trusted parental figure, we too find solace in the loving arms of our God, who will—who does-- make everything better. So better that, once the sting of our anger , our hurt and our betrayal is washed away by that Love, we can, like John, turn to the James’ in our life and say, “want to go roller skating, want a pretzel” Because through the grace of our loving God, I am able to forgive you, to forgive me and to move on.
So Let’s be Enemies, Let’s Be Friends, remembering that we are the children of a God who gives us the grace to turn the other cheek, to love the unlovable and to leave the playground of revenge and retaliation behind.
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