So yeah, Thomas gets a bad rap with the whole doubting thing because, in truth, doubt isn’t a uniquely bad thing, it’s just a commonly human thing.
Doubt is a moment in time, it’s a step in a process. It’s a time of bewilderment, a time of question---doubt comes when things aren’t clear---when all the evidence isn’t yet in or all the evidence hasn’t crystallized in our brains yet. Doubt happens when all that we know to be—the order of our world---is shattered.
When I worked as a psychotherapist, I served on a disaster response team. Our job was to mobilize in natural and human made disasters, being among the first responders to the scene. One Labor Day evening we were called out to a railroad crossing in a nearby village. A last blast of summer festival had been going on and a group of kids were hanging out by the crossing when an express train came down the track, striking and killing a local high school sophomore.
I had the difficult task of informing the girl’s mother of her death. When given the terrible news, the mother calmly looked at me and said, “No that’s impossible, she was at the movies.” In that moment she was denying reality---then it hit her and she fell to the ground, sobbing. For those first few moments, she doubted the message I had delivered. She doubted that anything this horrible could possibly happen, but soon her brain began to assimilate it and the tragic truth became clear.
But it’s not only bad news that can be met with doubt, good news can be equally difficult to fathom.
Whether it’s the people on tv who’ve won the publishers’ clearinghouse, or finding out you’ve gotten the job of your dreams or hearing that the cancer is gone----good news can take some time to sink in.
Doubt buys us time for the joy to fully engage; it buys us time to gird ourselves against the bad.
Doubt gives us time to catch up to the reality of our lives.
In these early days of the Easter season, we have some catching up to do. We have an altogether new reality to face.
And, in those first few hours, those first few days following the crucifixion, the reality of the disciples’ life wasn’t pretty. The king they loved; they denied, the rulers they feared; they defied. It wasn’t a good time to be one of Jesus’ followers…so when they hear from Mary Magdalene that Jesus is alive do they run out looking for him carried by this thrilling and joyous news?
No, they remain paralyzed by their doubt, immobilized by their fear, stuck in their shame. After all, they’d abandoned and denied Jesus. Letting him down in his greatest hour of need. And now he was alive?
Human nature would dictate that the disciples feared Jesus. While thrilled that Jesus was alive, they must have had some trepidation about seeing him again. But, no matter how hard they may have tried, this time the disciples could not run and hide. Because, even while behind lock and key, who should appear but Jesus—
Uh oh.
But Jesus, instead of “How could you,” says, “Peace Be With You.” He doesn’t re-hash their failings but commissions them to go out and spread the Good News of Peace to the world.
He accepts their failings and loves them. He rejects their fear and loves them. He loves them. In spite of themselves.
This is radical. This is shocking.
And this can take some getting used to!
Even though they’d heard it hundreds of times before, even though we hear it, week in and week out, this simple message of love peace and forgiveness is really difficult to understand and it can be difficult to accept.
Thomas, along with the other disciples, needed to see the reality of Jesus’ resurrection before they could "get it." Their doubt wasn’t a lack of faith, it wasn’t that they didn’t believe, they just didn’t comprehend.
Thomas’ doubt bought him time to accept, to understand, to wrap his brain around all that had happened, so that, when he saw Jesus for himself he would, at least on some level, “get it.” Thomas’ doubt gave him the time to move into a greater understanding, leading him to proclaim, “My Lord and My God.” Thomas’ doubt led his faith to a place of understanding. Thomas, given time, Got It.
Today, the emotional roller coaster of Holy Week is over, we’ve proclaimed Christ risen, we’ve shouted Alleluia, we’ve rejoiced in the new light of Christ.
Today we sit back, along with Thomas and the other disciples, fully aware of what we are capable of---killing God in the flesh—and aware of what God is capable of: peace and forgiveness.
This astonishing realization of what we can and sometimes do and what God always does, is shocking and takes some getting used too.
So this morning we begin clearing doubt from our hearts and minds and embracing the Truth as given to us through Jesus Christ. That we must go out into the world seeking and serving Christ in everyone we meet.
To not rest until everyone, everywhere knows the Love that is God.
To not rest until children can go to school without fear.
To not rest until peace isn’t just a goal for all, but a reality.
To not run from fear, but to enter it courageously.
To not deny doubt, but embrace it for what it is and see what’s on the other side.
To forgive ourselves for what we’ve left undone while redoubling our efforts to do more.
To see the Risen One
to touch him, to know him and to call out to him My Lord! My love! My teacher! My hope! My Savior.
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