“Family Hold Back Turned Inside Out” Proper 12, Yr B July 26, 2015

+“Family hold back,” was a familiar refrain in my family. My parents entertained a lot and often, before a dinner party, Mom would say something like, “I don’t think we made enough potatoes, so family, hold back.” In the Dempesy family culture there was nothing as horrifying as the thought that our guests wouldn’t have enough to eat, so no matter what, “family, hold back!” Of course, I never remember a time when there wasn’t enough food for everyone around the table. Never. Yet, still, to this day, when Mom cooks dinner she’ll invariably warn us to “hold back, there might not be enough.” When I reflect on my upbringing, this fear of scarcity was a major focus. My mother then, and my mother now, is afraid that there simply won’t be enough. I’m happy to say that in recent months, perhaps it’s her winning the staring contest with death, perhaps it’s better living through pharmaceuticals, or perhaps a combination of both, that scarcity drumbeat appears to be slowing.
Mom would have fit right in with Philip in today’s gospel who, when asked by Jesus to provide food for the gathered 5,000, immediately looks at the whole situation from a stance of scarcity—there’s no way! It will cost too much!! It’s impossible!
Now Andrew, at least he’s noticed the boy with the barley loaves and two fish…but even after that discovery of possibility, Andrew falls into scarcity and pessimism—what good will that meager amount be with ALL THESE PEOPLE?
Now in Jesus’ time, the middle classes, the wealthy, the Greek merchants and the Roman occupiers all ate wheat bread – the poor ate bread made from barley. So this boy was not well to do…he was just another peasant whose barley loaf and fish was, most likely, dinner for his family. So how was it that this person, this boy, came to share his food with 5,000 people?
Did he shyly tug at Andrew’s elbow and say, “It’s not much but the Teacher can have it.”  Did he sit off in a corner with his lunch under his cloak, occasionally sneaking a bite before he was spotted by Andrew, who then said, “You need to share that.”? Or was it something in between?  How was it that the boy decided to share?
Surely the boy had to wonder about what difference his little bit of food would make.  He had to think, “There are so many and I have so little.  All that will happen is I’ll have to go hungry along with everyone else.  Better to keep what’s mine and let the other people take care of themselves.”  
It’s easy to think, “What difference will it make?  I barely have enough for myself, how could I possibly give to others? “There isn’t enough” is a mantra familiar to all of us.
But, instead of never enough, our readings today talk about always enough…and more! They call us to have enough faith in God to share what we have and enough trust in God to fill in the rest.
In 2nd Kings, because of a famine, the traditional offering of first fruits is paltry-- 20 barley loaves and a handful of other fresh grain--- “a family hold back” offering meal if there ever was one! But Elisha doesn’t bat an eye. “Give it to the people.” he says, “The Lord has promised, ‘Eat and there shall be leftovers! ”
Right there, in the midst of scarcity, faith and abundance.
 And again, in today’s Gospel, the boy hands over his meager groceries to Jesus.  And, once again, somehow, someway, God provides.
There’s plenty, more than enough for everyone. Jesus makes a rich feast out of a peasant’s dinner, no one holds back and everyone is filled. PLUS there’s leftovers!
We often think we don’t have much to offer God or the world, either personally or as a congregation. We see ourselves as poor, small, weak, unworthy or otherwise inadequate. We hold back, thinking no one will want what we have, for it’s simply NOT ENOUGH. You know what God says to that?
“Hogwash.”
Ours is a God who takes our little and turns it into a lot.  We often try to hang on to what we have because we don’t really trust God’s promise that if we turn everything over to God we’ll be all right, we really will.  Deep down, most of us don’t believe that God will take what we grudgingly, almost reluctantly, hand over and turn it into more than we ever imagined possible.
But God has done and will do just that.
God doesn’t really want our treasure, God wants our trust.
God doesn’t really want our finances, God wants our faith.
 God doesn’t really want our things, God wants us.
God wants us to let go of everything else and truly believe that we can rely on the fact that the divine and holy love that made our universe also made us and that this immense love, a love “that is beyond all knowledge,” (Ephesians 3:19) will provide for us and will use us to provide for others.
It might not seem like 20 kids in Eaton camp will make a dent in the pervasive system of poverty in our region but Pete and Barb and Nancy and Andrea and Gloria and I are here to say it has.
It might not seem like a congregation of 20 people at Ascension could make an impact on this diocese and this city, but the pet food pantry has been replicated 4 times (and counting) in this diocese...plus we have distributed some 7 tons of pet food in 4 years…plus I get A LOT of phone calls asking me how it is that Ascension was brave enough to let go of their building and GS was gracious enough to share theirs.
It might not seem like a handful of people sorting books and serving breakfast to the kids at school 54 can make a difference; or 15 people giving blood would be enough to save 45 lives; or that 8 stalwart volunteers in our food pantry could possibly provide 60,000 meals a year…but guess what?
When we trust in God, when we have faith in God, when we love God enough to give all that we are and all that we have, “family hold back” is turned inside out and upside down and suddenly, from our meager and simple offering, there’s enough. And then some.
Amen.