Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
From the prayer that Jesus taught us, to the the gospel reading for today:
Forgiveness is fundamental.
Many of us are like Peter in today’s Gospel, we know that forgiveness is important, that it’s something we should do as often as we can but are a little off put by Jesus’ directive to forgive not seven times but 77 …to forgive always.
Why?
Because that’s exactly what God does for us.
God forgives us our trespasses, our sins every single day, every single time, always.
Forgiveness is Fundamental.
To God and to us.
We must forgive all the betrayals and hurts of our lives. All of them… from the most heinious of crimes to the most biting of slights.
Not just the ones we know we SHOULD forgive.
Not just the ones we want to forgive.
Not just the ones anyone would forgive.
But all of them.
I know…
how in the world can a rape victim forgive her rapist;
How in the world can any person of color forgive the generations of abuse heaped upon them by people like many of you and me—white and privileged.
How in the world can those who lost loved ones in the twin towers, forgive Al Quaeda;
how in the world can a child forgive the abuse of a parent;
how in the world can a spouse forgive infidelity;
how in the world can we forgive an institution like the church when it fails to live as it teaches?
How in the world can we, let alone God, forgive such things?
For me it’s important to remember this:
forgiving is not condoning a horrid act…
Forgiving is not endorsing abuse
Forgiving is not excusing hate.
Forgiving isn’t erasing the fact, forgiving is releasing the pain.
Because the pain of not forgiving is what holds us back.
Releasing the pain, the betrayal and the horror is what sets us free to live as God intended..
Now, just because it’s good for us, doesn’t mean it comes easily to us. Sometimes it feels impossible to forgive and if it feels that way to you today, that’s ok…because this forgiving thing, it’s a process
But what our faith teaches us, what our God models for us is this:
Forgiveness is possible, it is necessary and it is healing.
Author Sheila Cassidy puts it this way:
I would never say to you ‘you must forgive’. I can only say: ‘However much you have been wronged, however justified [your] hatred [may feel], if you cherish it, it will poison you……[therefore] We must pray for the power to forgive, for it is in forgiving that we are healed.
When we hold onto our hurts, our betrayals and our pain, we poison ourselves. Clinging to the resentments, bitterness and rage doesn’t hurt the one who betrayed us, it hurts US.
It doesn’t keep the other person from living a full, happy and free life, it keeps us from living a full happy and free life.
Not forgiving sickens us.
Forgiving heals us.
And yet….
I’ve held onto a hurt I experienced almost three years ago. I kept trying to get other people to hold onto the hurt, anger, and the resentment with me. No one would. Finally, about 6 months ago someone said to me, very gently, who is this anger hurting? I desperately wanted it to hurt the one who had so badly hurt me, but the truth is, it was only hurting me. And so I began the process of letting go, not excusing the actions of the other, but letting go of the intense feelings I have about it.
And you know what? Even though I am not finished with this work, beginning the process has relieved me more than I can say. That hate imprisoned me. Letting it go has been liberating. Holding onto hurts, hurts.
So, what can we do to shake free of that which blocks our way to forgiveness?
First, we have to acknowledge that forgiveness is possible. At times I may not know how to forgive those who’ve hurt me deeply, but I sure as heck know that forgiveness is possible. After all, I'm forgiven every single day of my life through the love of God. A love that, when I ask for it, forgives and absolves me. Frees me.
By accepting the forgiveness granted to us by God, we learn how to forgive others.
To fully forgive I must admit my mistakes, my errors, my sins to God and then let myself be washed through and through with forgiveness.
Only in being forgiven can we forgive others. Let yourself be forgiven. Bring it all to God, lay yourself bare before God and be washed. Then—and only then—-will you be able to forgive others. And only after forgiving ourselves and forgiving others, only then will we be truly free.
Thanks be to God, we are forgiven.
How many times? More than you can count.
So how many times must we forgive? More times than we can count.
Thanks be to God.
Amen.
