Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors
Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who’ve sinned against us.
No matter how you slice it, Forgiveness IS Fundamental.
Fundamental to our health, fundamental to our faith, fundamental to our life.
Welcome to Forgiveness is Fundamental Sunday.
Many of us are probably like Peter in today’s Gospel, we know that forgiveness is important, that it is something we should do as often as we can but are a little off put by Jesus’ directive to forgive 7 times 70 …to forgive always, forever, everyone and everything, no exceptions… Because that’s what he’s really saying in today’s parable.
We have to forgive everyone and everything, always.
Why?
Because that’s exactly what God does for us.
God forgives us our trespasses, our debts and our sins every single day, every single time, always.
Forgiveness is Fundamental.
To God and to us.
We must forgive all the betrayals and hurts of our lives. All of them… from the most heneious of crimes to the most biting of slights.
Not just the ones we know we SHOULD forgive.
Not just the ones we want to forgive.
Not just the ones anyone would forgive.
All of them.
Each time. Every day.
No exceptions.
Wow.
Think about it
how in the world can a rape victim forgive her rapist;
how in the world can the people of Ferguson MO forgive the police department;
how in the world can those who lost loved ones in the twin towers, forgive Al Quaeda;
how in the world can a child forgive the abuse of a parent;
how in the world can a spouse forgive infidelity;
how in the world can an employee forgive an unjust dismissal;
how in the world can we forgive an institution like the church when it fails to live as it teaches?
How in the world can we, let alone God, forgive such things?
It’s important to remember this:
forgiving is not condoning a horrid act.
Forgiving is not endorsing abuse
Forgiving is not excusing hate.
Forgiving isn’t erasing the fact, forgiveness is releasing the pain.
And doing that, releasing the pain, the betrayal, the horror is what sets us free. And being set free, is good, right?
Sure, but just because it’s good for us, doesn’t mean it comes easily to us. Sometimes it seems impossible to forgive, sometimes it feels impossible to forgive.
But what our faith teaches us, what our God models for us is this:
Forgiveness is possible, forgiveness is necessary and forgiveness is healing.
Author Sheila Cassidy puts it this way:
I would never say to someone ‘you must forgive’. I can only say: ‘However much we have been wronged, however justified [our] hatred [may feel], if we cherish it, it will poison us……[therefore] We must pray for the power to forgive, for it is in forgiving that we are healed.
When we hold onto our hurts, our betrayals and our pain, we poison ourselves. Clinging to the resentments, bitterness and rage doesn’t hurt the one who betrayed us, it hurts US.
It doesn’t keep the other person from living a full, happy and free life, it keeps us from living a full happy and free life.
Not forgiving sickens us.
Forgiving heals us.
But. As I said, that doesn’t mean it’s easy.
Forgiving others is hard and it’s not for the feint of heart.
For five years I’ve had a horrible time forgiving my brother in law Mark for not telling me that my sister Anne had had a stroke.
For two days I was unable to reach her and for two days I just knew that something must be wrong, but for two days, while she was in ICU,she was unaware of who she was, unaware that she was married with children, unaware that she had sisters.
Mark didn’t tell me. For two days she was lost and so was I.
As you can tell, the memory of this still gets to me. It was scary….for Anne, for Mark, for me.
Forgiving Mark has been one of the most difficult things I’ve ever tried to do. Some days are better than others….but a bad day is when I am so weighed down by anger, resentment, bitterness and hurt that I can’t get out of my own way.
On those days, my inability to forgive him, poisons me.
Holding on to hurts, hurts.
So, what can we do to shake free of the shroud of resentment and anger that blocks our way to forgiveness?
Well, first we have to admit that forgiveness is possible. Sure, at times I may not know how to forgive Mark, but I sure as heck know that forgiveness is possible. After all, I am forgiven every single day of my life by the all encompassing never ending love of God. A love that forgives and absolves me all my debts, all my errors, all my sin, all the time, every time, no exceptions.
By accepting the forgiveness granted to us by God, we learn how to forgive others.
To fully forgive Mark I must admit, accept and fully receive God’s forgiveness.
Because it’s only in being forgiven that we can truly and fully and completely forgive.
We must embrace being forgiven before we can forgive.
Listen closely to this section of the Lord’s Prayer:
“forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
Do you see the connection?
Being forgiven and forgiving are relational.
The prayer doesn’t say Forgive us our sins so that then we’ll be able to forgive others. No, the prayer says, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.
Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.
It’s one fluid motion, like a beautiful dance----as we are forgiven we forgive….as we are forgiven we forgive.
As we are forgiven, we forgive.
It’s fundamental my friends: forgiving, forgiven, forgiving, forgiven.
What a dance, what a faith, what a God.
Amen.
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